Unloved
by Sanity Optional
Summary: Those idiotic tears flowed across my face once more. I was taught to fight, not to show emotion. And it's all breaking apart in one song. – Angst One-shot. Dedicated to Athena-san and for Ninja's iPod Shuffle Contest.


**A/N: Ah, you won't really understand this one-shot lol. I freaking suck at songfictions, I've created about 3 songfictions but never posted them up, and you can forget it that I ever would. No freaking way. **

**This is for Ninja's iPod Shuffle Contest. **

**IT'S ABOUT NATALIE AND HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOTHER. :O**

**AND KAYLA IS MY OC.**

**This is also for the 'Un-do' project. Alright? **

**I DON'T USE THE TERM 'Songfic'. I just don't. I prefer to say Songfiction.**

**So basically you won't be able to understand the original lyrics. You know why?**

**CAUSE IT'S IN JAPANESE. Luckily they were translated.**

**I don't listen to American songs. No freaking way. Like Athena-san (Athenagal88), I adore P!ink. But I don't do well songfictions with her songs. I don't connect well.**

**And basically most American songs now are about having sex and getting drunk while the artist just makes it sound all poetic with raps and vice versa. **

**THAT'S NOT MUSIC PEOPLE.**

**J-pop songs are deep, with raw, uncut emotion just blaring through the speaker. It's amazing really. So I'm just going to stop typing since there's a songfiction waiting to be read.**

**- Sanity Optional

* * *

**

_Title: Unloved_

_Rating: K+_

_Character: Natalie Kabra_

_Summary: Those idiotic tears flowed across my face once more. I was taught to fight, not to show emotion. And it's all breaking apart in one song. – Angst One-shot. Dedicated to Athena-san and for Ninja's iPod Shuffle Contest.

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_

"Is something wrong? Would you like to talk about it?" Marie, the maid, asked. I scowled at her.

"No." I snarled. Marie bowed a bit and left my bedroom.

I got up from the bed and grabbed my iPod, in no mood to discuss my problems. Songs weren't a thing of mine. I usually read magazines and shop around.

My features twisted into anger.

This was Kayla's iPod. _Stupid cousin_, I thought. Oh well, at least I got to invade her privacy. I switched on the iPod and lyrics of "Goodbye, World's End" by Hatsune Miku buzzed through the earphones.

**_In the far faraway corner of the world, you are swaying back and forth._**

**_Are you collecting letters? Are you reading songs?_**

**_Caressing your seven-colored wings, you seem happy and content._**

**_Upon seeing that, I, too, smiled quietly._**

I looked out the window to find you just sitting there in a patio chair. Looking all perfect. Like you usually did. I looked up to you while you sneered and looked down to me.

You're too busy, you always say to leave you alone, that you didn't have time for my 'childish' games. I'd stay inside with no one to depend to. But how can I be mad? You're my mother, and I am your daughter? Should we not automatically love each other? So I smiled, and blindly continued life as your servant. The figment of her hazed, only my imagination, and so she disappeared from my field of vision once more.

**_Surely, surely, I had prayed for days like this to continue._**

**_With the answer still not found, my wish broke into pieces at the sound of reality._**

I frowned; I knew she never cared. Who shoots their own daughter? My daydreams of a nice Isabel, shattered the very moment that stupid shaped piece of metal hit my foot. Those days were nothing but sugar coated lies.

**_Goodbye, lullaby of the sky._**

**_Goodbye, whispering of the birds._**

**_Goodbye, the glittering of time._**

**_Goodbye, to you and to the memories._**

When was I sucked into her deceptive trick? When did I become a slave of hers? I know all that was good and gone, even if the pain washed over me hard. I now lived in transparent silence. I showed people that I was tough, but really my life was an endless portal of misery.

So goodbye, mum. Hello Isabel Vesper-Hollingsworth. You no longer are family. Just a shadow that precedes my mind everyday.

**_-Wouldn't it be nice if I had that kind of dream?_**

I sighed. But it's not that I want you to be out of my head, it's because I can't get rid of you. You're burned onto my mind. Forever haunting. Taunting.

I wish it would just erase! Your voice echoes throughout the day in me. You never have anything nice to say. You never did. When would you learn?

I laughed. I wasn't one to ponder thoughts like these. I was poised, intelligent, and beautiful. I'd have boys at my feet when I graced my presence somewhere. Maids cater to my every whim. People who'd die to hang out with me.

Why did it feel like **_I_** was dying?

My wavering heart never stood still, it felt like it was rotting inside out.

I continued to listen to the song.

**_My flowing black teardrops pound on my shoulders._**

**_My arms no longer move, and have my ears also crumbled?_**

**_The road I walked with you seems especially gloomy today._**

**_I don't even feel like wishing for a sunny day tomorrow anymore._**

An unwanted tear cascaded over my face. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting anymore tears race across my face. You never loved me; you never shined a ray of hope or care on me. So why do I sadden to this state because of you?

It's obvious.

You are family. No matter what. Every detail on our faces, plastered onto both of us. Like mirrors. I'm you and you're me. Is that it? Am I as arrogant as you? Do I have to live a life of a crime?

That's the only difference that separates our worlds.

I have a chance, and I'm going to use it, while you waste your meaningless life in prison, plotting, deceiving.

I can't hear what others say about me, whether good or bad, but I'm not going to let that put me down!

**_Here I'm trying to live but failing. This place is too cold._**

**_It's not that it's any person's fault. I totally blame my collapsed foothold_.**

I really can't convince myself. I'm cursed with the fact that I used to look up to a murderer. You know what's really sad?

I still do.

She's perfect in every way. People envy her, adore her. Sometimes even both. Oh, just to live in her shadow would have been enough. But I should know better.

I'm better than her.

Just because she's older, doesn't make her wiser.

**_Goodbye. The sky is caving in._**

**_Goodbye. The birds are disappearing._**

**_Goodbye. The watches are stopping._**

**_Goodbye, to my memories of you._**

But I can't let go of those memories! I just can't, they haunt me in many ways. They torture my presence. And it's your entire fault.

You've done this to me. And there's nothing you can, or will, do.

**_-If only I could meet you once more._**

That wouldn't help the situation at all.

**_Goodbye, the sprout in the flowerpot._**

**_Goodbye, my tears dripping drop by drop._**

Those idiotic tears flowed across my face once more. I was taught to fight, not to show emotion. And it's all breaking apart in one song.

**_Goodbye, surpassing the world._**

**_Goodbye, surpassing time._**

**_Goodbye, surpassing dimensions._**

**_Goodbye, surpassing the origin._**

So now I'm lost in this endless maze. I don't know my path, where I should go, who I should trust. My life is shattering by the minute.

**_"I missed you. I wanted to say 'GOOD MORNING! MORNING!' to you."_**

The song finished and I set Kayla's iPod to charge. I groaned as I set my head on the pillow. I'd grimace of people who'd write those things called 'songfictions'. They seemed like a latter of nonsense. You'd listen to music and think about your love life or what not.

Songs were meant to be listened to, not to think about your life. I thought songs were suppose to lead you away from your troubles the music swaying you from reality. The lyrics harmonizing your life. Things seem so serene when music overtakes.

That was a lie.

So now I'm stuck with Isabel, haunted in my mind. She's forever my mother and I can't do anything about it, I'm stuck with the fact I look up to her even if she tried killing me and the worst part about this is..

I shall stay forever unloved.

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**HERE YOU GO ATHENA-SAN! :D I know you hate Isabel, and we all share your hatred, so here's a little one-shot dedicated to you! ;3**

**Natalie basically hates her mother for being so perfect. But she is her daughter and Isabel is her mother.**

**You can't help both love them, even if they hurt you.**

**You can't help but forgive. No matter what.**

**It MAY seem unrealistic, but really, you can never get over the fact your mother is a killer. So? You still look up to them. They're your parents, you'll miss them no matter what.**

**So flame me and say; BUT SANITY THAT'S STUPID, THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.**

**Shut the fluff up. **

**I don't care. It's MYYYYY story.**


End file.
